Can't Miss Fish

This recipe was of course perfected by my friend Lauren, but she is one of those people who keep recipes in their heads. I made it recently for my family and they loved it so much that they requested I write it down for them. Why stop at sharing it there? So I'm posting it.

I'll admit salmon is not my favorite fish. I rarely order it at restaurants. I guess I got a little snobby and considered it both commonplace and not all that delicious. But certain preparations of salmon wow me, and this one wowed me more than any other I've tried. It's simple and delicious! Try it; you'll like it. Really. And compliment me on my recipe-writing skillz.

Simple Salmon Veracruz

2 tbsp olive oil

1 medium red onion, coarsely chopped

2 large cloves garlic, minced

Pinch red pepper flakes

Pinch black pepper

1 cup white wine

2 14-oz cans diced tomatoes (with juice)

¼ cup chopped Spanish green olives

2 tbsp olive juice from the jar (or more/less to taste)

4 salmon filets, approximately 2 lbs total

Salt and pepper

Heat the oil in a large, deep pan over medium heat. Add the onions and sauté for 1-2 minutes. Add the garlic, red pepper, and black pepper and continue to cook until the onions are translucent (be careful not to burn the garlic). Add the wine and deglaze the pan. Let the wine reduce for 4-5 minutes. Add the tomatoes and cook until tomatoes are warm. Add the olives and the olive juice, reduce heat to low, and simmer uncovered for 15-20 minutes or until ready to eat. (The longer it simmers, the thicker it will become.)

Turn on broiler. Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of salmon filets. Broil salmon for 8-10 minutes on high. (Or grill salmon on stovetop or outdoor grill.)

Serve salmon with Veracruz sauce spooned on top. Serves 4.

It's Time For A Little Post-Mortem

So Brett the Jet has hung up his helMET. I can't say I didn't see it coming, and I can't say I was wrong about the whole thing. I'm glad he had a decent season, though, and I wish him the best.

NFL Week Whatever: This Blows

Yeah, I used a lolcat photo. So what?

There's no need for me to express my disappointment over the results of the playoffs so far. Normally accurate quarterbacks are throwing more interceptions than Brett Favre (sorry). Normally awesome teams are being beat (Pittsburgh excluded) by mediocre, lucky, hot-streak teams. I have no more words on the NFL this year. If the Cardinals win it all, I don't know what I'll do with myself.

In any case, to the relief of at least one of the two people who read this blog, I'm done with the NFL. Until next August.

NFL Week 17: But There Are Only 16 Games!

Oh, HELL yes!

Wow, wow, wow. The playoff picture only became clear at the last minute! I love the suspense! This is the way football was meant to be! The 49ers won more than 5 games! The Dolphins took the AFC East! The Patriots didn't even make the playoffs! It's like the 1980s all over again!

I'm sure Brett fans were disappointed on Sunday, but how can you not love Chad Pennington's story? I couldn't have hoped for a better end to the regular season. Bring on the playoffs.

I'm sorry to see it turn out like this for Brett Favre, who had 1 TD and a devastating 3 INTs against the Dolphins. After 16 games, here are the results of the Brett Favre Interception Watch TD/INT Tally:

INTs: 22
TDs: 22

Complete QB stats for the NFL can be found here. Gratuitous shirtless Pennington shot can be found here:

They say looking good is the best revenge. But there's something off about this photo.

Bad Blogger!

Aaaaahhhhh. I missed NFL Weeks 15 and 16, and they weren't fabulous for Brett and the Jets. They pulled off a win against the Bills but lost to -- what?! -- Seattle?! Over those two games Favre had 4 interceptions and only 1 touchdown throw. He's now at 21 TDs and 19 INTs. Pull it together, Jets! You're now in third place in your division! (Go Dolphins!) Things aren't looking good right now. One more week to go . . .

NFL Week 14: Another Tumble for Brett the Jet

Well.

The 49ers beat the Jets! The 49ers beat the Jets! But that's really only good news for Dolphins and Patriots fans, since the stupid Cardinals won and clinched the NFC West.

Brett threw another INT but no TDs in a disappointing (for Gang Green anyway) loss to the 49ers. Boo hoo. The 49ers are HOT!

Brett's tally: 20 TDs, 15 INTs.

NFL Week 13: The Roll Has Been Stuffed

You'll get back on your feet, Brett.

Brett Favre's passing rating tumbled 40% from Week 12 to Week 13 and he threw an INT in a tough loss to the Denver Broncos. The New England Patriots, meanwhile, had their asses handed to them by the Steelers, leaving the Jets in first place in the AFC East. Personally I'm pulling for the Miami Dolphins to make an upset (or at least make the playoffs). Chad Pennington avenged!

Brett's tally stands at 20 TDs and 14 INTs. (Drew Brees has as many INTs.) He's still looking pretty good.

In NFC news, the 49ers became the first west coast team this season to win on the eastern seaboard when they defeated the Bills in Buffalo. Killing two birds with one stone, they also kept their hopes alive of winning (gasp!) the NFC West. Yeah, keep losing, Arizona.

And next week, oh next week! The 49ers host the Jets at the Stick! If I had the attention span, I might live-blog it. But I don't.

Maybe Just One Thing

It sure seems like all that was standing in Brett's way was his INT competition. Ever since J.T. O'Sullivan was benched by the 49ers, Brett's QB rating has been above 100.

Still Rolling

Here I am, dutifully reporting Brett Favre's most recent successes. After 2 TDs today and 1 INT and with a top-notch team effort, Brett led the Jets to victory over the Titans, taking away Tennessee's perfect record. The tally: 20TDs, 13 INTs.

Elective unemployment is great and all, but when you run out of money and you're still unemployed, things get a little . . . uncomfortable. I've therefore been spending the past two weeks solidly searching for work, and it makes sitting at the computer practically unbearable. It exhausts me to the point that I don't even have anything to say with regard to Brett Favre. Or anything else for that matter. Weak!

He's On A Roll!

Congrats again to Brett Favre, who had a dynamite game on Thursday night against the Pats in NFL Week 11: The Preview.* 2 more TDs and 0 INTs! That makes 18 TDs and 12 INTs, and the Jets are in 1st place in the AFC East. Wowee, Brett. Wowee.

*Yeah, I watched the highlights. They were pretty spectacular.

Hey, Hey, Brett Favre!

Nice work in week 10! #4 added one to his TD tally and none to his INT tally. After 10 weeks he's at 16 TDs and 12 INTs.

Meanwhile, over in San Francisco, Shaun Hill is still at the helm while J.T. O'Sullivan sits on the bench. Brett's on his best behavior . . .

Oh Boy

So the election's in the bag. What next for Barack Obama? Preemptive damage control.

Dubya's Legacy?

On this historic morning, I couldn't help but think of how President Bush must be feeling. I'm gonna go ahead and think of him as Lutz in this clip from "30 Rock." He must just want to shove the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and get the hell away from the raving mob.



But he probably wants to solidify his legacy, too. I've thought about some things he can do to get the White House and the presidency ready for Barack Obama, things I think he'd be very proud of himself for doing. Things that would make him chuckle like he does. Things that would show America who the real decider is. Things that would ensure he is not remembered as the worst president ever. Here they are:

1. Pull the troops out of Iraq right now. Take that away from Obama. Give the American people the first taste of the disappointment they'll no doubt feel over and over again as Obama breaks his word!

2. Childproof all drawers and cabinets in the White House. That's what Laura does whenever she wants to hide something from W. He'll be useless without pens, staplers, and dishes!

3. Start misspelling Obama's name, so that when Jay Leno interviews Americans on the street and asks if they can spell their president's name, they won't have a chance. Nobody could misspell Bush.

4. Fake Dick Cheney's and his own death. Nancy Pelosi steps into the presidency and makes history before Obama! (This is also a great idea because it allows for plenty of punking opportunities featuring W. as a ghost!)

5. Fart in the Oval Office chair. A lot.

Yay, the election is over! I can't help but feel a little sorry for John McCain, even if I disagreed with a lot of things about his campaign. It's been a long road but the right man for right now won (timing really is everything, and it was not on McCain's side this time). Congratulations, America.

Why Sarah Palin, Are Those Boot-Cut Jeans You Wore To Cast Your Vote Today?

Oh no she didn't! (But ya know, she really does rock them.)* I wonder if the McCain campaign's outlook was so bleak that they already donated those fancy duds of hers?

*I acknowledge that by drawing attention to her jeans-wearing, I am perpetuating the notion that we are a sexist nation incapable of taking seriously the idea that a woman could hold the office of "commander-in-chief." But seriously, Hillary wouldn't dream of wearing jeans. Ever.

NFL Week 9: I Still Don't Believe The Giants Are All That Good

Hey, the Jets won! Unfortunately for Brett, he added to his INT tally (12) but not his TD tally (15). Also unfortunately for Brett, that INT was returned for a TD. Still unfortunately for Brett, the 49ers had a bye, so J.T. O'Sullivan didn't get to throw any interceptions this week.

Oh no! Could this explain it?

But more importantly, are the Giants really that good? I didn't believe it last year, and I still don't. They're competent and they're well-coached, but I'm never stunned by their play. It seems to me that their opponent just plays worse than the Giants do every week, and that's why they keep winning. Yeah, Eli, that's right. I'm not impressed.

Down to the Wire in the Purple States

I've decided no longer to call them Battleground States. It may be that they're being fought over, but the other states get colors and "battleground" has a lot of syllables. So in honor of their wacky, indecisive mix of red and blue, I'm going to call them Purple States.

America, this is you.

The election is tomorrow, and the ads aren't letting up. In fact, over the weekend they've become nastier, but it's the kind of nasty that comes off as funny. Obama's latest has creepy pictures of George W. Bush in the side and rearview mirrors of a car set to the question "Want to know where John McCain's economic plan will take the country?" The answer, of course, is revealed by looking behind us. Doesn't sound like prgoress, does it? The pro-McCain ad du jour is just plain absurd. Scary-Voiced Dude asks if we'd get on a plane with a pilot who's never flown. If we'd leave our child with someone who's never cared for children. If we'd go under with a surgeon who's never operated. Can we wait while he learns, Scary-Voiced Dude asks?

The Washington Post has an article today about the fight-to-the-finish campaigns. Of course, the Purple States are seeing the worst of this, and it's taking a toll. With that in mind, I propose that the day after Election Day should be a holiday in all Purple States. We'll call it Purple Wednesday, and Purple Staters will get a free espresso beverage at Starbucks instead of just a plain old free coffee. Because we deserve it!

Tina Fey for . . . Mom of the Year?

I adore Tina Fey with the same intensity with which I adore pork products. She's funny as hell. (I'm still not sure why she was ever considered an "unlikely" sex symbol. If she's unlikely, what with her brains, her humor, her sharpness, and her bangin' bod, I think the rest of us possessing a decent personality and even a small amount of wit should just give up. Now that everybody loves her, we may have to give up anyway since that bitch set the bar so high. But I really ought to end my parentheses now.)

So even though it's lights-out for me at 10:00 p.m. on my new schedule and I therefore missed her appearance on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" the other day to promote the season premiere of "30 Rock" ("30 Rock" premieres tonight at 9:30 on NBC!), I caught it online and I have something to say.



While the Bristol-Palin-as-baby-sitter-for-Fey's-toddler bit was hilarious in itself, didn't Tina and Conan miss out on one very obvious punchline, i.e. that Bristol could have used the practice? Just sayin'.

Part 2 of the interview:

What's Wrong With Me If . . .

the first thing I think upon opening an email with a coupon and the following instructions from the friend who sent it to me is, "Don't tell me what to do!"

Print this out and take to your Origins store for free mini facial and sample products.

Oh, and I didn't do it, either. Yeah, suck it!

Something Smells Fish: Fresh From Today's Washington Post

One of the benefits of elective unemployment is the amount of time you have to do things you never used to do: go to the gym, figure out what "On Demand" is, shower as infrequently as possible, and read the paper.

Today's Washington Post had an interesting bit of news from Japan:

Toilets a Worry if Tokyo Quakes
Japan's disaster prevention panel said that nearly a million people would be unable to find a toilet if a major earthquake were to hit Tokyo on a weekday. The panel studied a simulation of a magnitude-7.3 noon-time quake in the capital.

Wow. Where even to begin?

1. WHY wouldn't they be able to find a toilet? (Jeez, Post, don't forget the W's of newspaper reporting!) Is there a toilet shortage in downtown Tokyo? Shouldn't they fix that now, before disaster strikes?

2. If all else failed, couldn't a Japanese person let go of decorum in consideration of the emergency, if only long enough to relieve him or herself behind a dumpster, or in a McDonald's?

3. Surely bottled water is a more pressing need in a major disaster. Do they intend to fill their water bottles from toilets? Is that the problem? Seriously, why toilets?

4. If the earth were shaking and you were huddled under your desk for protection, what could possibly make you think to leave shelter to seek out a toilet? Haven't you already soiled yourself?

Life In Batttleground State Virginia: It's Getting Ugly

I moved out of my NYC apartment and into the folks' place in Northern Virginia. I've been here for less than a week and am still playing catch-up. As the election was heating up mid-month, I got really excited about the idea of voting in Virginia (Battleground State!), where my vote could really make a difference. Unfortunately, I had already missed the Virginia voter registration deadline and I was stuck having to arrange for an absentee New York ballot. That hasn't stopped me from taking part in all the indecisive fun here, though.

Last week when I crossed the American Legion bridge into Virginia, I saw the usual old-school welcome sign:

Really, Virginia? Really? Do you know it's 2008?

Below it were symptoms of this fine state's -- er, commonwealth's -- indecision: a McCain/Palin sign and an Obama/Biden sign, right next to each other. The further into Virginia I drove (and I had about 11 miles still to go at this point), the more campaign signs I saw, not only for the number one office but also for House and Senate races. They are EVERYWHERE here. And it doesn't stop there. Every time the phone rings it's a campaign worker urging Fairfax County residents to vote one way or the other. (Apparently McCain's recorded voice itself has called here, but I haven't been home for that.) Worse yet, the other night some dude showed up at our door! Now I have to be surreptitious in ascertaining who's knocking at the door so as not to alert them of my presence within. It's either that or make a scene. I almost told the mailman to get the eff off my property today. (See, that's funny because it's not my property. And because he's the mailman and he has what I want.)

Then of course there are the TV commercials. In New York I saw the occasional TV ad for Obama or McCain, but here you can't pass a single commercial break without at least two political campaign ads. And they're getting ugly. A popular (read: ubiquitous) one now -- which is not endorsed by John McCain -- features an empty oval office chair (um . . . so what? We're used to that.) and narration from Scary-Voiced Dude reminding us that "this crisis" will be Obama's first. Scary-Voiced Dude doesn't stop there. Oh no. He also insults Americans, chiding us for considering electing "one of the most inexperienced candidates" ever to this high office. So now in addition to being terrified I'm also being reproached. Nice.

Another anti-Obama ad, this one approved by McCain, focuses on Joe Biden's foot-in-mouth ("Oh wait, guys, I meant tongue-in-cheek! See, it was all just a silly misunderstanding!") blunder. I mean, when Biden gives them material like that, these commercial-maker guys don't even have to work! They just print the highlights of his speech across the screen and have Scary-Voiced Dude announce at the end that Barack Obama is "untested" and "dangerous" and they've got advertising magic!

Having just moved to the Old Dominion, I don't have much of a handle on the local House and Senate races, but their ads are no less ruthless. My favorite -- and I don't even remember whom it promotes or whom it slanders -- ends with the following: "[Candidate's name here]: too corrupt, even for Congress." Classic! Because, you know, the candidate the ad promotes has juuuuust the right amount of corruption for Congress. A regular Goldilocks.

But they're not all malicious. Some ads just don't say anything. A current Obama ad begins with the senator narrating, "John McCain wants to scare you. I want you to know what I believe." The next 26 seconds are chock-full of idealism regulated by a steady hand, a firm resolve, and a warm smile, as close to aw shucks as Obama is ever going to get. But does it promise anything? No? And it doesn't slander the other guy either? Bo-ring. That's the thing, see. Obama is out-spending McCain by oodles (that's a precise mathematical term) on TV ads, but I can't seem to retain the content of any of them.

With the election less than a week away, I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of final-stretch antics are pulled out. McCain doesn't buy into the polls, so Virginia is still very much up for grabs in his mind, and he wants it. Obama wants it too. But we Virginians don't show our hand easily. See, being wooed may get old, but being a tease never does.